Drugs and Your Children

Starting The Conversation

The little bundle of joy we used to cuddle in our arms grows so fast that we’re looking at an adolescent before we realize how many years have passed. As our children grow up and spend less time with us because of academic or sports activities, concerts, and parties, they are introduced to new situations and opportunities that hold not only a lot of promise, but a lot of danger, too.

Drugs in particular become a concern of all parents as they watch their kids grow. It’s never too late — or too early — to talk with your children about drugs, how they work, and the damage they can cause.

Whether you want to talk to your children about alcohol, tobacco, amphetamines, marijuana, or any other controlled substance, it’s never easy. On the other hand, it is probably not as difficult as you may think, either.

Informing your children about drugs sooner rather than later will enable them to resist placing themselves in situations where drugs are used or offered. It will also help them gravitate towards the kind of friends who don’t use drugs and towards activities where drug use isn’t acceptable.

Look for moments — avoid lecture

• Drug-related situations in your own area or places you drive by, walk past, or visit. For example, point out situations you see in a park or on a street, where you see alcohol, tobacco, or other drug-related behavior. Use that moment to talk about the harmful effects of these activities.
• News programs, newspaper headlines, and magazines often provide ample opportunities for starting a conversation with your kids about the harmful effects of drugs. Whether the top news stories are about overdoses, drive–by shootings, or murders because of a drug-related turf war or a drug deal 'gone wrong' – take advantage of such stories to talk about drugs and their devastating impact.
• Know the kind of television programs or movies your children watch. Ask their opinion about whether drug use is glamorized, portrayed as acceptable or common, or treated objectively. Their responses will give you a sense of their understanding about the reality of drug use, as wells as open up additional avenues of communication.
• If your child is going to a concert, sports or extracurricular activity, or a celebration with friends, build a role–playing scenario around it. For example, if your kid is going to a party being thrown by a friend, you can play the role of another friend who offers your child beer, marijuana, or another substance. Developing a real–time teaching scenario like this helps your child learn correct responses quickly to handle these situations when they arise. And they will arise. Remember: kids don’t usually get drugs from strangers; they get them from their friends. When your kid learns that it’s ok to say 'no' to friends without becoming alienated from them, their resistance to drugs grows significantly.

Mom, dad, have you ever used drugs?

No matter how parents devise ways to talk to their children about drugs or ask them questions about how much they know, many parents fear being asked one particular question in return: "Did you ever use drugs?"

For many parents this is a tough question to answer. Unless a parent can answer 'no' to this question, they usually stumble through to an answer that makes their children feel they learned nothing at best, or — at worst — that their parents are hypocrites.

Sometimes parents who have used drugs in the past aren’t honest with their children. The danger of losing your credibility if your children discover that you did use drugs — but lied to them about it — will severely damage the parent child relationship. It will also make it more difficult for them to accept your authority and take your knowledge about other life issues at face value.

If you have used drugs in the past, take this opportunity to talk about what attracted you to drugs, what you learned from your experiences, why they are dangerous, and why you want your kids to avoid using them and making the same mistakes you did. Above all, answer honestly and remember that the issue isn’t about your past; it’s about the future of your kids.

Give your EAP a call if you need more information or help in approaching the issue of drugs with your kids. A clinical professional will listen to your concerns in complete confidentiality, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. You’ll be given the kind of guidance, resources, and assistance you need to handle these issues in an effective and appropriate way. Call to start the conversation today.